Online invitations and RSVPs, yes or no?

Kathy Piech-Lukas (me) with Emily Post, etiquette expert

This past fall, I had the pleasure of meeting and listening to Emily Post, the world's premier expert on proper etiquette. One of the things she discussed during her presentation was online invitations. During this past week, I was talking with a reporter and she asked about online RSVPs and I shared with her Emily's view on the topic.

In not so many words.... Emily said that, although online RSVPs are being made available to brides through personal websites and service-based websites for brides, they are still a no-no for weddings. Wedding invitations and the way you communicate whether you are coming or not should still be sent by paper in the mail, and the communication about whether you are coming or not should be the same way. Weddings are a formal event and using an online RSVP diminishes the formality and taste of the event. The invitation you send and the method for which you send it (both to your guests and how you ask them to reply) gives your guests the indication of the type of gathering you are having.

Questionable acceptions to this (and this is even a stretch) is if it is a green wedding, the event is over the top green and this is part of your overall event's feel. And this is still very questionable.

When is it acceptable to use online and electronic invitations? Wedding showers, bachelorette parties, and small get togethers. But not your wedding. My favorite online resource for electronic invitations is eventbrite. You don't have to pay to use it, your guests can RSVP online, and no advertisements, unlike other sites. However, if you are planning an event that you do plan to charge for, you can accept paypal and credit card payments for the event (like a bachelorette or bachelor party). Highly recommended!